Screenshot of the National Child Enforcement Agencies course on how to get blood from a turnip

How Family Courts and Child Support Enforcement Agencies make their Turnips

My experience with Family Courts so far "A Turnip in the making" –  Two pendente lite trials (I learned this is the term for quick hearing and determining a "temporary" order on custody.  Temporary in quotation marks because statistically the final decision follows the temporary one almost exactly.)

So this is my story in a nutshell and gives one example of how the family courts and child enforcement services make turnips.  Turnip is a term that child enforcement uses to teach its child support enforcers how to get more money out of poor parents like me.  Their national agency the National Child Support Enforcement Association sells an online course to child support enforcement agencies across the country entitled "Collection Techniques: "Getting Blood from a turnip - New farming techniques to increase your yield"  I dont know how you feel about this but I am outraged that the national organisation of state agencies that WE pay for through our taxes would talk about the citizens of this country in that way and continue to callously farm parents until they are in jail without attorneys.  It is time to remind these bureaucrats who pays their salaries.

Ok now back to my story, it is a pretty quick nutshell version of two speedy trials

Pendente Lite 1 

A. Judge ignores the calendar by which my wife and I operated for almost three months.  The calendar clearly showing that my son had been with me from Wednesday evening to Saturday afternoon.  During this time I was taking him to daycare, dressing him, feeding him, bathing him, brushing our teeth together, playing with him, reading to him, going on play dates with him, taking him to doctor visits.  This calendar covered a three month period between when my wife moved out and the point at which she decided to hire a lawyer and file for divorce.  I also showed the judge an email which clearly outlined that: 

i my three year old son was having trouble with the separation  and 

ii we had added Wednesday to the original schedule of Thursday through Saturday so that he could have the extra time with Dad that he clearly needed.

B. Judge ignores the emails, the calendar, the fact that I need more time to prepare and present a case, and spends the better portion of the time discussing my use of the word agreement than he does considering i the photo of my son sitting alone in a corridor or ii the calendar outlining the oral agreement we had in place and by which we had operated.   The judge just about batted an eye on the fact that my wife had been taking my son to her place of work a dance studio.  That while at the dance studio my wife was leaving my 3 year old son sitting in a corridor for 5 hours a night from 4 to 9 pm through dinnertime (which was 6) and bedtime (which was 8). 

C. When my wife’s attorney (I could not afford an attorney) tells the judge he disputes this, I imagined at this point the judge would ask what is it the lawyer is disputing.  Surprise, surprise, with an imagined wink at my wifes attorney, the judge looks at me and tells me he is giving me every other weekend like he is doing me a favor.   

In a single breath the judge condemns my three year old son to more of the same - evenings alone at the dance studio eating a bowl of cheerios for dinner, ignored the fact my son needed time with his dad and removes my ability to spend time with my son the way we had been doing.  Is this what’s called the Best Interest of the Child?

Oh yes I almost forgot to mention the Parental Kidnapping?   The judge ignored the fact that my wife kidnapped my son and with the help of her mother blocked me from seeing him by removing him from daycare completely and at odd hours.  They kept this behavior up for almost a months before we finally got to court.  He in fact decided to reward this behavior by giving my wife almost exclusive visitation.

As a result of this judges total lack of regard for me, my son and our relationship, as a result of this judges decision, my son now has trouble sleeping at night when we are together needing to check 2-3 times that no one has taken me before he can begin to settle down for the night.   Clearly this is one judge who hasn't read any of the studies.   Is this what’s called the Best Interest of the Child?

Pendente Lite 2

In my case, a judge, knowing that

A. I was unemployed and my unemployment was $374.00 a week before taxes

B. That my rent was $850 (clearly not the Ritz and my wife’s attorneys tried to stop me having any overnights with my son because of my poor living conditions i.e. being a 1 bedroom, with no bath only shower) 

Let’s think about this calculation for a second.  Assuming a 4 week month I am bringing home $1496 a month before taxes.  This is important because you have to pay taxes on unemployment. (Aside who knew and where do they expect you to get the tax money from?)  

After tax this is the equivalent of $1346 

(Assuming $8000 base deduction and 20% tax rate = $190.80 tax owed per month)

So to recap: 

My net income is $1346 a month

My rent is $850 a month 

I have $496.00 after tax to live on.  (This means food for my son and I when we eat together, clothes for my son and I when he needs, gas to pick up my son, insurance so I can drive to get him, car payment so I have something to drive to get him, electricity so my son and I don’t live in the dark, natural gas so we can heat in winter.)

Then what happens at pendent lite hearing 2 you ask?  

The judge orders me to pay $645.00 after tax a month in child support.    

Hello?????   Does anyone else think this is crazy??????

Did the judge consider how I could live?  

Did the judge consider how I could eat? 

Did the judge consider how I could afford a car to get to pick up my son or go on interviews?  

Did the judge consider how I could afford a telephone to make and receive job calls or personal calls? 

Did the judge consider how I could afford to have a place to live and receive unemployment checks?

Now I have a choice to make, 

A. have somewhere to live so I can see my son and food so that we can eat and gas and electricity or

B. make the OUTRAGEOUS child support payment.  

Since I want to be with my son and spend time with him in a safe environment I am not making the full child support payment and am now at risk.  

I am at risk of being taken before a judge again (maybe the same one who imagined I could make my own money) and being put in jail without an attorney, without a review of the reality of my economic situation and without even a hearing.    And what would the charge be?????  Contempt of court. 

And my contempt?  My inability to make an outrageous child support payment.

This is how the Family courts and member agencies of the National Child Enforcement Association grow their Turnips.

I am a Turnip in the making.

Is this the system you want to be dealing with if you have children and your husband or wife decides to divorce you?

Are these the judges you want judging you or making decisions about your child’s or your future?

Do you want to be turned into a Turnip too?

Somewhere along the line our Politicians, our Judges, the Family court system, Health and Human Services, Child Enforcement Services have forgotten who put them in their jobs, who pays their salaries and who decides if we like their performance and what actions they take.

It is time to tell the politicians that support this system, the politicians that put these judges in positions of power, the bureaucrats that manage and think up these programs that enough is enough.  Our President when he was looking for our votes told us that he would change things.   Well now it is time to let him know that – NO CHANGE = NO VOTE